MeteoricBadger

A new kind of quiet has taken hold of the world. The ocean waves crash a little different, the birds sing in a different key, the wind sighs just a little softer. She's not here. I often wondered what the world would feel like once she was gone. After a few moments I would choose to not try to imagine it because I was scared of it. But now it's my reality, and it's so, so quiet. She's not here. The crying has been often, but not constant. The melancholy has been present and heavy. We think of all she won't get to experience with us. I think of the babies I'll have that she won't get to hold. The advice I won't get to glean from her as I enter motherhood someday. She's not here. The morning after she passed, I sat by her side with daddy, and heard the sound of true heartbreak. Of a husband who had lost his wife. "My darling... oh my darling," he would croon with choked sobs. She's not here. I miss my momma. I want her hug. I want her kisses. I want her smile. I want her

It's been quite some time since my last entry here. Over a year in fact!! So much has changed and moved and grown that it would do it all a disservice to try and summarize. But beyond that, it's a special day for a close friend of mine, and I want her to know a few things before the day is out. - I still sometimes feel your gaze like I once felt the Doctor's gaze - like fire and ice and rage. Your burning ache for my heart to move and grow and flourish in purpose and in love is something I have felt more strongly than almost anything. And although we haven't been privy to the details of our lives with each other, I hope you see that I haven

I will break and burn like the sun setting over the splitting clouds. I will fall and bruise mangled and crushed for only me to see.But that sun does not forget as he rises again once, twice, and again, that I was made to move the mountains he shines upon. I wake and see the strength that was always inside and it comes alive like a challenge in my bones. I’ll mend these breaks and heal these burns and aching bruises because I was made to break through these splitting clouds and rise like the sun over the mountains.